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The 5 Best New England Jokes

Can you get there from here? Here’s a sampling of the best New England jokes from our archives.

By Yankee Magazine

Nov 05 2021

new-england-humor

A 1917 image of a Maine lobsterman. | The 5 Best New England Jokes

Photo Credit : Flickr/Internet Archive Book Images
New England’s regional humor mostly champions poor over wealthy, insider over outsider, common sense over intellectualism, and simplicity over ostentation. And although universal humor often depends on “the last word” concept, nowhere is this tool as effectively utilized as in New England. Enjoy a sampling of the best New England jokes from our archives.
The 5 Best New England Jokes
A 1917 image of a Maine lobsterman. | The 5 Best New England Jokes
Photo Credit : Flickr/Internet Archive Book Images

The 5 Best New England Jokes

  1. “Lived in this town all your life?” Answer: “No, not yet.”
  2. “Can you tell me how to get to Wheelock?” Answer: “Well now, if I were going to Wheelock, I don’t believe I’d start from here.”
  3. “Edward, you know we used to sit a lot closer together when we were courtin’.” Answer: “I haven’t moved.”
  4. “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Answer: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
  5. “Because I wasn’t born in New England, I realize I’ll never be a native. But since my three children were born in Putney, Vermont, aren’t they natives?” Answer: “Well…if your cat happened to have kittens in the oven, would you call ’em biscuits?”
Now it’s your turn. Share your favorite family-friendly joke in the comment section below. Excerpt from “’A Few Familiar Faces | (The Most-Often-Told New England Jokes),” Yankee Magazine, September 1987

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