Yankee Zodiac | Only in New England

Babylonian astronomers created the first zodiac, a division of the year into 12 sections, each represented by an animal or other symbol. The Greeks used the zodiac to develop a system of astrology. The Chinese zodiac can be used to determine a person’s destiny based on his or her birth date. Not to be outdone–and feeling it’s high time we New Englanders had a stake in this game–we proudly present the Yankee Zodiac. (Or semi-proudly.)

January: Moose You are reserved and somewhat aloof, but people still seek you out. When you do let others get close to you, they may find you a little scary. You never throw anything away, and you have enough return-address labels in your desk to last you for the next 27 years. Avoid Black Flies. February: Beans You have a hearty, wholesome nature that appeals to many people, but not all. You enjoy being with people and are often seen at potlucks and church suppers. You make friends easily, but often find later that they’re gone with the wind. March: Maple Syrup Your sweet personality makes you well-liked, but you do have a dark side, which some people actually prefer. Others find your taste too expensive. You are compatible with most other types, especially Beans. You will find success in culinary settings, but may want to branch out into new areas. April: Black Fly You are strong-willed and quick-witted, with a biting sense of humor that people don’t always appreciate. In fact, almost never. You have a vast collection of resealable plastic containers and lids, none of which match. Avoid Loons. May: Loon Devoted to family, you are otherwise standoffish and complain loudly when upset, giving you an undeserved reputation for being crazy. Thrifty by nature, you bring home unused ketchup packets from restaurants. Choose partners carefully; you are compatible only with other Loons, and sometimes not even them. June: Lobster Yours is a shy, somewhat prickly personality, and you have a tendency to snap at people. It’s sometimes hard to get you out of your shell, but when you’re on a roll you can be delightful. You are most compatible with Clams. Lucky numbers: 2 and 4. Don’t ask why. Some people think you’re paranoid, but you simply avoid social situations for fear you might get trapped and couldn’t get out. July: Clam A true New Englander, people think of you as quiet and taciturn, although your real personality sometimes bubbles up, giving you away. In your opinion, the novel Ethan Frome was a laugh riot. Avoid Turkeys. August: Lighthouse You are known for your steadfastness, your reliability, and your extensive collection of Moxie memorabilia. Although you prefer a solitary existence, you are nevertheless quite popular and very photogenic. You don’t necessarily like meeting new people, and your relationships are often rocky. September: Candlepin You like to think you stand alone, but when the ball gets rolling you have a tendency to fall in with the crowd. A true homebody, you’re rarely seen outside of New England. You hate waste and always bring home those little bottles of shampoo and conditioner from hotels. October: Stove Your natural warmth draws people to you, though you can sometimes get overheated. Even then, you have a glow about you. You have a reputation for being frugal and have been known to get three cups of tea out of a single teabag. You are very compatible with Beans. November: Turkey Unlike many Yankees, you are gregarious by nature and prefer to flock with friends rather than go it alone. You’re also a bit flighty and can lose your head if you’re not careful. Your ancestors met the Mayflower when it sailed in. Avoid Stoves. December: Cranberry People find you cranky and somewhat bitter, but they do appreciate your straightforward honesty, even if they tend to string you along. You don’t mix well with other types, except for Turkeys. The last weather person you trusted was Don Kent.

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