The Waterculturalists
New Englanders waterculturalists face the age-old debate: salty ocean waves or tranquil freshwater lakes? Take a lighthearted dive into the quirks, comforts, and culture of both camps.
By Brian Kevin|Jul 15 2025|
A true lake lover doesn’t hit the dock without all the freshwater fittings, just as any good beach bum comes toting saltwater swag. Presenting a field guide to New England’s two quintessential summer species in their natural habitats.
Photo Credit : Illustration by Julia Emiliani
Lake People
1. Maximal apparel, minimal fashion. (Think: your best summer flannel.)
2. Cool hats, worn ironically.
3. Binoculars: Great for ogling loons.
4. 100% DEET: Scent of automotive air-freshener and burnt plastic.
5. Floatable toys, to facilitate indolence.
6. Water shoes: Protection from dock cleats, getting leeches between toes.
7. The dog: Never tires of swimming. Doesn’t mind mud. Stepped off the cover of an L.L. Bean catalog.
8. Retro ice chest: Oozes authenticity, holds ice for maybe 15 minutes.
9. Copy of The Portable Thoreau. (Will read four pages, then scroll Insta.)
10. Canvas tote: Exudes rugged New England appeal.
11. Enamelware mug: Literally the same one your great-grandparents used.
Lake People: Additional Field Notes
✚ Squad goals: Ten-foot cannonball plume; making 12-pack of Truly last until dinner.
✚ Unique skills: Catching tadpoles barehanded; scrubbing bird poop from Adirondack chairs.
✚ Ground scores: Antique fishing lures; the Excalibur of skipping stones.
✚ Bumper stickers: “Honk if You Love Muddy Bottoms”; “Make America Fish Again.”
Photo Credit : Illustration by Julia Emiliani
Ocean People
1. Minimal apparel, maximal fashion. (Think: linen tops and gauzy wraps.)
2. Silly, floppy hats, worn earnestly.
3. Mirrored shades: Great for ogling sunbathers.
4. SPF 50: Scent of coconut, vanilla, and tea tree.
5. Floatable toys, to facilitate gnarliness.
6. Flip-flops: Protection from beach debris, getting sand between toes.
7. The dog: Loves Frisbees, waves, driftwood.
8. Prestige-brand wheeled cooler: A subtle status symbol that’s ready to roll.
9. Breezy paperback mystery or romance. (Will read four chapters between naps.)
10. Canvas tote: Exudes classic New England appeal.
11. Stainless steel tumbler: An eco-friendly alternative to the Solo cup your parents used.
Ocean People: Additional Field Notes
✚ Squad goals: Finding parking; claiming the perfect patch of sand; tanning evenly.
✚ Unique skills: Humming to periwinkles; describing 55-degree New England seawater as “balmy.”
✚ Ground scores: Sea glass; friendly hermit crab.
✚ Bumper stickers: “I Break for Piping Plovers”; “My Other Car Is a Vintage Woodie Station Wagon.
This feature was originally published in the July/August 2025 issue of Yankee.
