New England Fashion | Project Driveway

Welcome to New England, where people dress like it’s nobody’s business … because it is nobody’s business.

Fashion for Compliments Traditional fisherman’s garb is based on those ceramic figurines sold in every tourist shop from Biddeford to Bar Harbor. A pipe and beard are considered de rigueur accessories, although many female fisherfolk omit the pipe. Whole Lotta Flannel Going On Flannel is to New England what the tomato is to Italy—we’ll use it with anything. As if to prove the point, witness this stunning outfit, worn by confirmed bachelor Albert Fleemish and guaranteed to fend off all but the most desperate of husband hunters. From Away This look combines a 100% organic-cotton turtleneck in earth tones, non-GMO-certified lined overalls, and a Fair Trade boiled-wool jacket, all made from environmentally conscious materials and purchased through chichi catalogues. Year-round Yankees will wait to pick them up at the thrift shop after the summer folks go home. The Constant Gardener Sarah Achenbach sports the classic gardener’s outfit with a few special touches: a straw hat the size of a manhole cover, No Pest Strip earrings, and knee pads made from the tires off her husband’s old tractor—his 50th-wedding-anniversary gift to her. This is the perfect outfit for New England’s growing season (roughly noon to 4 p.m. on July 17). A Many- Layered Thing Standard attire in winter, the foundation for this classic look is a pair of moisture-wicking high-tech longjohns that cost more than your first house. To that, add wool socks, a fleece top, sweatpants, snowmobile boots, two sweaters, a windbreaker, a wool overcoat, a knit cap, and a scarf to hold the whole thing together. A very practical outfit, though it can make mobility difficult, and you don’t want to drink a lot of coffee before suiting up. Rummage Sale Regalia This eclectic ensemble combines all the wearer’s favorite purchases from the annual rummage sale. Here we see a beaded blue cardigan sweater over an orange ruffled blouse, purple gaucho pants, and white patent-leather boots, topped off with a pink boa. The total cost for this outfit was less than the meatloaf special at the diner, a fact that the wearer is understandably proud of. (Note that in other parts of the country being cheap is not considered a virtue, if you can imagine.) Swap Shop Collection Here’s a casual look perfect for Saturday- morning scrounging at the dump: faded dungarees, a NASCAR hat, and a sweatshirt with a stunning bald-eagle appliqué. Add a camo jacket for extra versatility, not to mention a place to hold your bug spray, moose call, and other essentials. Available in men’s and women’s sizes. The Mad Dash Also known as the “I’m Just Running to the Mailbox and No One Will See Me,” this daring look builds upon a lovely floral-print housecoat, a classic chenille bathrobe— complete with those little nubs that indicate authenticity—and an army–navy parka coordinated with a matching pair of unlaced combat boots. For more formal affairs, such as going to the market, lace up the boots. Fine Aged Fashion Here’s Homer Smidley, wearing the one suit he has ever owned, the one he was married in, wears to church every Sunday, and plans to be buried in. A typical Yankee, Homer understands that clothes, like fine wine and gourmet cheese, become better with age, generally taking at least 20 years to achieve that timeless quality that outlives passing fashion trends. Note the worn spots, moth holes, and loose threads—sure signs of a well-aged garment and not a knock-off reproduction. The Classic New Englander Here’s the classic outfit for the man with delusions of farming, even if the closest he’s even been to a barnyard is a box of animal crackers: baseball cap (preferably with a truck-company logo), a plaid flannel or chamois shirt with suspenders, tan chinos, and well-worn L.L. Bean boots. (Only people from away wear new boots in public.) Top it off with a barn coat, the little black dress of New England fashion. Barn optional.